I'm talking about the crown waiting for me in heaven, not some princess crown down here. Wow. I could do some serious venting right now after tonight. I am trying to take it all in stride and put things into perspective, but it's difficult. I think I set too high of expectations and am therefore easily let down. And then I think I say that to protect myself and give the other people involved an "out" instead of thinking poorly of them or even trying to expect anything of them. But is that really healthy? And then again, I feel like I had very realistic expectations tonight and was still let down. I know when I'm realistic if Kevin has the same thoughts as I do. He is much more realistic than I, the idealist, and so if he says the same thing, I realize that it must be true. Kevin balances me out so well. :)
So as I mentioned yesterday, all of the seniors came over tonight. It was crazy to say the least. I am continually dumbfounded by students and wonder where the world is headed if these are the future leaders of the world. I'm not saying that my generation has is all together by any means, but things that kids think, say, and do these days are things that never even entered our minds. (Maybe I should say "my mind" instead because I was pretty clueless to lots of things!) And I'm not eons older than them, just a little more than a decade. But if my parents found out that we acted that way at someone's house, let's just say that we wouldn't be going to anyone's house for quite some time.
I realize that Seth (and our daughter and any possible other future children) will get older and will do things that Kevin and I don't approve of. I realize that we will get calls from teachers or parents or whomever saying that he did something that will be saddened to hear and have to deal with. I realize that no matter what we teach him at home, he is still a sinner who is capable of and responsible for making his own choices. I mean, really, do you think I teach him at nearly two years old to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store because he has to sit in the cart instead of emptying the kalbasz section at the grocery store? Exactly. No one has to be taught how to sin. Funny to think about! Our sin natures are oh-so ugly.
But on a happier note, God has really given me a peace about a few things. We still have a lot of things we are constantly turning back over to him and trusting him with, and that is a daily thing for me to learn and do. I am grateful right now for his peace and am trying to continue to rest in that. Still meditating on the phrase "by the mercies of God." :) Yeah for Romans!