one week
We had a very busy and fun weekend. Doctor's appointment on Friday revealed that nothing was happening. Bummed to hear that but glad to know that we are both healthy and well, which is most important. I still have 6 days left until my due date, so I shouldn't be complaining. :) Insurance and billing matters are not fixed, but the receptionist seemed to understand that mistakes were made and a lot would have to be redone. The insurance manager who was supposed to help straighten it all out was out on holiday, so that's why nothing was fixed. They told me not to pay anything at my appointment on Friday and that'd we would work it out this week when I come back. I go in tomorrow night for an appointment, mainly the non-stress test.
Reread up on a few things this weekend, and it's funny reading this book after having experienced giving birth in a hospital here. The things they do in the US are different than here, and I'm not saying that one is better than the other, just different. I had no idea what to expect last time just because Seth was the first, not necessarily because I was living here. But now reading the book, I had to laugh at various parts because there is a lot Hungary doesn't do. I had such a great experience with Seth, so no complaints from me. Just praying for another good experience this time around!
On Saturday we had an afternoon tea for all the women who live on our street. It was hosted by Martha, our neighbor and fellow UWM team member. The purpose of the tea was to welcome the new people on the street, including yours truly, and it was so nice. I wish I spoke more Hungarian, and I felt bad that I couldn't really make an effort since I couldn't say anything. I did meet the neighbor on our other side, and she speaks beautiful English. Martha told me that she was dying to meet me, so I had assumed she didn't speak English and hence why we hadn't met. But it was nice to meet her. Of course all the women wanted to know when I was due and what I was having. The general consensus was that I looked really good ("slim" as one women even said) and couldn't believe I only had a week until d-day. That made me feel good because I certainly don't feel that way! Ha ha! Who does at this stage? But my neighbor is an editor for a Hungarian pregnancy magazine, so she knew all sorts of stuff. She assured me that the hospital where I was giving birth was great and so much better than the Hungarian hospitals. I am delivering at the same place I did with Seth, so I know what to expect. But she raved about it, so that also made me feel good.
Saturday evening we had a fall party at school that Becky organized. This was Seth's first time doing anything like that. I would love to post some pictures from it, but none of mine really turned out. So maybe if Julie or Becky have some that turned out, I'll steal theirs. :) Seth complained about wearing the bumblebee costume, which was from last year and too small but not small enough that I still didn't force him to wear it. Then he didn't want to play any of the games. That all changed once he realized he got candy for playing the games. He kept asking for more chocolate. We had to take the rings and the bean bags and various other game objects out of his hands because he wanted to keep playing if that meant he got more candy! And I have to say that his skills were pretty impressive for an almost two year old. I think it's all his practice at shooting hoops at home.
And like any good parent, we let our kid eat way too much candy that night. He was literally bouncing off the walls and around in his crib when we put him to bed later that night. At some point in time his sugar rush stopped and he crashed. But he was a sight to see!
Today is Kevin's grandpa's birthday, and I would have loved to give him a birthday gift of a new great granddaughter, but since it's pretty late now, that's not going to happen. My sister's birthday is Wednesday, so I'm shooting for that next. :) Everyone keeps telling me how high I still am and that I haven't "dropped." Never did with Seth. Carried him the same. I think it's because my height is in my legs. I have a pretty short torso as compared to my legs and so baby stays put there. She apparently has long legs too according to the doctor. Who knows. Only the Lord. Just asking him to let her come really soon!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
quite the weekend
Well, it was an eventful weekend to say the least. It was a long weekend, too!
We left before the sun was up last Thursday morning to head to the immigration office to apply for our new visas. We were in line first and got the first appointment, and even with all of that, we were still there for hours. Oh, the joys of living in a foreign country. I have often wondered what the process is like in the US as a foreign citizen. I wonder how much it costs, too. We are praying that the government finds favor with us and gives us the maximum, which is 5 years. Have no idea if we'll be here that long, but for the time and money we have to spend on this process, we are hoping not to have to do it again! But we shall see what they give us come the end of November when we go back.
Friday was a national holiday, so no school. Kevin was home. Yeah! And last week was his week off between grad school courses, so it was great timing on his part to have a long weekend. He ended up not getting done what he had wanted to because I was in bed, and he had to take care of Seth. Poor guy. Even involved a trip to the hospital for me, but the doctor there concluded that we were both healthy and safe. So they sent me home in great pain with no explanation, but at least I didn't worry after that. I'm not one to go to the doctor or hospital, but I was in so much pain that I knew wasn't right. Good thing I went because what I was experiencing was a major symptom of preeclampsia, but all the tests and monitoring revealed that I didn't have it. Praise the Lord! Anyway, the doctor there said I could go any day, but they say that to all women at the end. So that means it could be tomorrow or not for a couple weeks. My due date though is in 12 days, but who's counting? :)
On the way to the hospital the headlights on our car went out. Perfect timing. Fortunately our brights were still working, so besides ticking off a ton of drivers, we did get there safely. I took the car in yesterday to have it looked at, and after fidgeting around for a bit, the guy said he didn't know what was wrong and said he would work on it and hopefully have it done today. I was concerned about another major expense, but I can't complain because we haven't had to do a thing to that car. It's old and hasn't given us any problems! Another moment to praise the Lord! He called today to say it was fixed. I asked how much. He said 7000 forint. [Imagine huge smiley face on me as he told me over the phone. 7000 HUF = $39 right now.] Becky took me to pick up the car, and he showed me where the problem was and that he had to replace the blinker/light thing on the side of the wheel, which is where it had shorted. Felicia (the model name of our car and what we hence call her) now has more character to her as the blinker doesn't turn off automatically when you turn. No big deal, but it made me laugh. Again, thanking the Lord for such a minor and quick fix.
So from Friday night until Sunday sometime I was in bed and couldn't move. Kevin had planned on getting school work done ahead of time so that he doesn't have to worry about it when I do actually go into labor. But I was glad that of all times for this to happen that it was while he was home. I couldn't lift Seth or do anything. But ever since the pain went away on Sunday, I have felt great. And I used all of my energy later on Sunday afternoon to clean out the baby's room that we have just been using as storage and throwing anything in there that we had no place for. It was quite the daunting task, and although nothing in there is actually ready for her, at least everything in there is hers and not being used as storage anymore. So I consider that a success!
One of the most exciting things that happened this weekend was gaining a new church supporter. We met with First Alliance Church of Erie, PA, while home this summer. It was where Kevin went to church, and his pastor along with my own married us in January 2004. We honestly never expected for them to support us, but we love the church and were invited to come chat with them. So we did! They told us they didn't know if they could do anything financially but would definitely offer their prayer support. Fine by us! But then they wrote this weekend and said that they would support us financially, almost making up all that we have been lacking in our monthly support to stay here in Hungary! Can I just say that we were both so overwhelmed and overjoyed at God's provision once again?! I have been battling for quite awhile where the "line" is between doing all that I can to seek the lacking support and where to let go and trust God. I realize that line doesn't exist, and someone told me recently that I should pray because it's all up to God but work like it's all up to me. So I think that's what I've been doing...until recently because I just didn't know what to do. Kevin and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders, and I am constantly thanking the Lord.
Currently thanking the Lord for...
A long weekend where Kevin was home
First part of the visa application being done
Health for baby girl and me
Safety on back roads with non-working lights
Friends who pray and want to help
A baby's room being cleaned
Packages in the mail (Thanks, Mom Y!)
God's provision when I had lost all hope
My family...near and far
...And lots more!
I haven't been posting pictures much, but here is one from earlier tonight. Seth has become obsessed with several things lately, one of them being wearing his sunglasses all the time. He wouldn't take off the hood, so we just strapped them around his head with the hood up. He is "doing letters" in the picture, another thing, along with playing volleyball, that he is currently obsessed with. Oh how I love this little boy!
We left before the sun was up last Thursday morning to head to the immigration office to apply for our new visas. We were in line first and got the first appointment, and even with all of that, we were still there for hours. Oh, the joys of living in a foreign country. I have often wondered what the process is like in the US as a foreign citizen. I wonder how much it costs, too. We are praying that the government finds favor with us and gives us the maximum, which is 5 years. Have no idea if we'll be here that long, but for the time and money we have to spend on this process, we are hoping not to have to do it again! But we shall see what they give us come the end of November when we go back.
Friday was a national holiday, so no school. Kevin was home. Yeah! And last week was his week off between grad school courses, so it was great timing on his part to have a long weekend. He ended up not getting done what he had wanted to because I was in bed, and he had to take care of Seth. Poor guy. Even involved a trip to the hospital for me, but the doctor there concluded that we were both healthy and safe. So they sent me home in great pain with no explanation, but at least I didn't worry after that. I'm not one to go to the doctor or hospital, but I was in so much pain that I knew wasn't right. Good thing I went because what I was experiencing was a major symptom of preeclampsia, but all the tests and monitoring revealed that I didn't have it. Praise the Lord! Anyway, the doctor there said I could go any day, but they say that to all women at the end. So that means it could be tomorrow or not for a couple weeks. My due date though is in 12 days, but who's counting? :)
On the way to the hospital the headlights on our car went out. Perfect timing. Fortunately our brights were still working, so besides ticking off a ton of drivers, we did get there safely. I took the car in yesterday to have it looked at, and after fidgeting around for a bit, the guy said he didn't know what was wrong and said he would work on it and hopefully have it done today. I was concerned about another major expense, but I can't complain because we haven't had to do a thing to that car. It's old and hasn't given us any problems! Another moment to praise the Lord! He called today to say it was fixed. I asked how much. He said 7000 forint. [Imagine huge smiley face on me as he told me over the phone. 7000 HUF = $39 right now.] Becky took me to pick up the car, and he showed me where the problem was and that he had to replace the blinker/light thing on the side of the wheel, which is where it had shorted. Felicia (the model name of our car and what we hence call her) now has more character to her as the blinker doesn't turn off automatically when you turn. No big deal, but it made me laugh. Again, thanking the Lord for such a minor and quick fix.
So from Friday night until Sunday sometime I was in bed and couldn't move. Kevin had planned on getting school work done ahead of time so that he doesn't have to worry about it when I do actually go into labor. But I was glad that of all times for this to happen that it was while he was home. I couldn't lift Seth or do anything. But ever since the pain went away on Sunday, I have felt great. And I used all of my energy later on Sunday afternoon to clean out the baby's room that we have just been using as storage and throwing anything in there that we had no place for. It was quite the daunting task, and although nothing in there is actually ready for her, at least everything in there is hers and not being used as storage anymore. So I consider that a success!
One of the most exciting things that happened this weekend was gaining a new church supporter. We met with First Alliance Church of Erie, PA, while home this summer. It was where Kevin went to church, and his pastor along with my own married us in January 2004. We honestly never expected for them to support us, but we love the church and were invited to come chat with them. So we did! They told us they didn't know if they could do anything financially but would definitely offer their prayer support. Fine by us! But then they wrote this weekend and said that they would support us financially, almost making up all that we have been lacking in our monthly support to stay here in Hungary! Can I just say that we were both so overwhelmed and overjoyed at God's provision once again?! I have been battling for quite awhile where the "line" is between doing all that I can to seek the lacking support and where to let go and trust God. I realize that line doesn't exist, and someone told me recently that I should pray because it's all up to God but work like it's all up to me. So I think that's what I've been doing...until recently because I just didn't know what to do. Kevin and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders, and I am constantly thanking the Lord.
Currently thanking the Lord for...
A long weekend where Kevin was home
First part of the visa application being done
Health for baby girl and me
Safety on back roads with non-working lights
Time with Zsolt and his concern for baby and me
Quick and inexpensive car repairsFriends who pray and want to help
A baby's room being cleaned
Packages in the mail (Thanks, Mom Y!)
God's provision when I had lost all hope
My family...near and far
...And lots more!
I haven't been posting pictures much, but here is one from earlier tonight. Seth has become obsessed with several things lately, one of them being wearing his sunglasses all the time. He wouldn't take off the hood, so we just strapped them around his head with the hood up. He is "doing letters" in the picture, another thing, along with playing volleyball, that he is currently obsessed with. Oh how I love this little boy!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
rite of passage?
After a perfectly good day filled with yummy warm lentil and brown rice soup and a lovely time with Julie while our boys played, I came home to this disaster of an insurance situation that makes me so mad. Kevin said that all adults at some point in time have major problems with medical insurance, so it was our time. So perhaps this is some rite of passage into furthering adulthood...but whatever it is, I am angry.
I got this massive bill from our doctor's office from an appointment back in June. Although I just received this today, it was dated at the end of September and said that if I had not paid it within 8 days that they would just automatically charge my credit card on file with the insurance company. I immediately called the person it said to call to figure out what was wrong and make sure that I am not charged for something I received today that was dated 4 days short of a month ago. She said that this bill was leftover from the deductible I still owed. So I dug out all of my bills and what I paid, and somewhere, someone got something wrong. The doctor's office never even showed on the form that I paid what was leftover from my deductible and claims that I am still a few hundred dollars off. Yah, I don't think so. I've got my bills and statements saying what I have paid.
Now I've been going back and forth between the doctor's office and the insurance company and the broker, which I don't even understand what their function is other than to mess up even more things and make me even more mad. As a missionary, our doctor's office gives us 35% off all our fees. So nice of them since they are expensive. But suddenly in June the new receptionist says that I don't get the 35% discount because the claims are going through insurance directly. I have tried to talk to her and figure this out each time I go in, but I lose every time. And instead of placing my American mentality up front and demanding to see a supervisor and get to the bottom of it, I just calmly have agreed and would figure it out later if need be. So today when I talk with this other woman, she told me that I am still to receive that discount, even if it goes through my insurance first (not me paying and being reimbursed by insurance later, which is what most missionaries have to do). I tried telling the new receptionist this before, and she said that if she was wrong or bills got messed up, that she would then take off the 35% discount. We'll see if and when that happens since she was wrong.
The woman I have been emailing back and forth this afternoon said she will make sure the receptionist knows this. My insurance only pays so much (based on what is customary and whatnot), so receiving this 35% discount up front would greatly reduce the overall bills and charges, thus them being willing to pay more than they currently are. They claim that our doctor's office bills more than what is customary. Anyway, now I have to go in next week and have a huge ordeal about this. Somehow they are going to have reimburse the 35% discount on ALL of my doctor's appointments since the beginning of June (Praise the Lord I was in the States this summer and therefore had less appointments there!), somehow willingly resubmit them to my insurance company so that they are getting adjusted bills with the correct amounts, and then reimburse me the 35% of all that I have paid.
When was the last time you had a pleasant time dealing with a doctor's office and an insurance company when they made the mistake and owe back tons of money? Yah, didn't think that was too common. I realize that God can do miracles and work this out, but we are all a bunch of sinners here, so I am not counting on anything being situated for months to come, if ever honestly.
Oh, and on top of that, I was informed that they have no info about me being pregnant, nor do they have hospital information and everything else they need in order to process the hospital charges when I do deliver! She said there is "nothing in the system" in regards to any of that. I have only talked with half a dozen people about this and have all of my emails to prove that they have known for months, that I have filled out all the paperwork, and that they informed me that everything was set up...months ago! I have since checked, double checked, and triple checked to make sure everything on my end was done. I was pretty frustrated with all of that, and then this other woman I have been talking to from insurance tells me that they're just the broker. Blah, blah, blah. I can handle certain things, but incompetency bothers me more than anything else. What will happen when I go to leave the hospital...who knows. But I am frightened of what they'll say after my oh-so-pleasant dealings today.
Seth is still awake in his crib, calling out for me every few minutes. He doesn't want to go to sleep, and tomorrow morning we have to be up before the crack of dawn to head to immigration to apply for new visas. Let me tell you how excited I am for that. And that too costs a small fortune. I feel right now like it's never going to stop. I am so frustrated.
And for those of you wondering, STILL NO INTERNET!!!
You can all pray for me because I'm going to lose it!
I got this massive bill from our doctor's office from an appointment back in June. Although I just received this today, it was dated at the end of September and said that if I had not paid it within 8 days that they would just automatically charge my credit card on file with the insurance company. I immediately called the person it said to call to figure out what was wrong and make sure that I am not charged for something I received today that was dated 4 days short of a month ago. She said that this bill was leftover from the deductible I still owed. So I dug out all of my bills and what I paid, and somewhere, someone got something wrong. The doctor's office never even showed on the form that I paid what was leftover from my deductible and claims that I am still a few hundred dollars off. Yah, I don't think so. I've got my bills and statements saying what I have paid.
Now I've been going back and forth between the doctor's office and the insurance company and the broker, which I don't even understand what their function is other than to mess up even more things and make me even more mad. As a missionary, our doctor's office gives us 35% off all our fees. So nice of them since they are expensive. But suddenly in June the new receptionist says that I don't get the 35% discount because the claims are going through insurance directly. I have tried to talk to her and figure this out each time I go in, but I lose every time. And instead of placing my American mentality up front and demanding to see a supervisor and get to the bottom of it, I just calmly have agreed and would figure it out later if need be. So today when I talk with this other woman, she told me that I am still to receive that discount, even if it goes through my insurance first (not me paying and being reimbursed by insurance later, which is what most missionaries have to do). I tried telling the new receptionist this before, and she said that if she was wrong or bills got messed up, that she would then take off the 35% discount. We'll see if and when that happens since she was wrong.
The woman I have been emailing back and forth this afternoon said she will make sure the receptionist knows this. My insurance only pays so much (based on what is customary and whatnot), so receiving this 35% discount up front would greatly reduce the overall bills and charges, thus them being willing to pay more than they currently are. They claim that our doctor's office bills more than what is customary. Anyway, now I have to go in next week and have a huge ordeal about this. Somehow they are going to have reimburse the 35% discount on ALL of my doctor's appointments since the beginning of June (Praise the Lord I was in the States this summer and therefore had less appointments there!), somehow willingly resubmit them to my insurance company so that they are getting adjusted bills with the correct amounts, and then reimburse me the 35% of all that I have paid.
When was the last time you had a pleasant time dealing with a doctor's office and an insurance company when they made the mistake and owe back tons of money? Yah, didn't think that was too common. I realize that God can do miracles and work this out, but we are all a bunch of sinners here, so I am not counting on anything being situated for months to come, if ever honestly.
Oh, and on top of that, I was informed that they have no info about me being pregnant, nor do they have hospital information and everything else they need in order to process the hospital charges when I do deliver! She said there is "nothing in the system" in regards to any of that. I have only talked with half a dozen people about this and have all of my emails to prove that they have known for months, that I have filled out all the paperwork, and that they informed me that everything was set up...months ago! I have since checked, double checked, and triple checked to make sure everything on my end was done. I was pretty frustrated with all of that, and then this other woman I have been talking to from insurance tells me that they're just the broker. Blah, blah, blah. I can handle certain things, but incompetency bothers me more than anything else. What will happen when I go to leave the hospital...who knows. But I am frightened of what they'll say after my oh-so-pleasant dealings today.
Seth is still awake in his crib, calling out for me every few minutes. He doesn't want to go to sleep, and tomorrow morning we have to be up before the crack of dawn to head to immigration to apply for new visas. Let me tell you how excited I am for that. And that too costs a small fortune. I feel right now like it's never going to stop. I am so frustrated.
And for those of you wondering, STILL NO INTERNET!!!
You can all pray for me because I'm going to lose it!
Monday, October 19, 2009
great weekend
I had such a fabulous weekend. Didn't anticipate that happening, which is maybe why it was so great.
Friday night started with an outreach event that Julie invited me to help with, and although I was hardly any help at all, I had a great time! Julie and her husband Zach are here with Campus Crusade and have a great ministry with Hungarian high school students. They had a huge outreach a couple weeks ago, and this was a follow up night for many. The guys played video games, and the girls did a craft night. You can read Julie's detailed account and see pictures here! I had to bring Seth so that Kevin could have an uninterrupted evening to finish up two of his grad school classes. I didn't want to bring him, but he ended up thoroughly enjoying himself and running around the coffee house at KEGy, showing off for all the girls how he could jump and play peek-a-boo. I thanked the Lord many times. :) And the picture above was taken by Julie.
I have missed my interactions with Hungarians a lot this fall. English classes started up two weeks ago, but with expecting a baby in less than three weeks (yahoo!), I didn't want to start and then have to take time off. So I will see what January brings and how things go with two kids and Kevin coaching varsity basketball again... But I have really missed connecting and talking with Hungarians. I didn't know any of the girls at the outreach, and with such limited Hungarian, I couldn't talk to anyone unless they spoke some English. :) But I loved being in that atmosphere and watching the girls. One of the Hungarian night security guys at ICSB showed up, and I was quite confused because he is certainly not in high school. Maybe he was riding by on his motorcycle and wanted to come check out what was happening. I didn't see him until he came over to me and said hello and played around with Seth. Julie had never seen him before, so it's not like he's a regular. But it was neat to see him there. I have no idea if he is a Christian or not. Anyway, I had a great time and am looking forward to what God might have for me in the future to be involved in with Hungarians, since that is really where my heart is at. I love the Hungarian people! Just waiting to see how life changes and trying to be flexible with all of that...
I have missed my interactions with Hungarians a lot this fall. English classes started up two weeks ago, but with expecting a baby in less than three weeks (yahoo!), I didn't want to start and then have to take time off. So I will see what January brings and how things go with two kids and Kevin coaching varsity basketball again... But I have really missed connecting and talking with Hungarians. I didn't know any of the girls at the outreach, and with such limited Hungarian, I couldn't talk to anyone unless they spoke some English. :) But I loved being in that atmosphere and watching the girls. One of the Hungarian night security guys at ICSB showed up, and I was quite confused because he is certainly not in high school. Maybe he was riding by on his motorcycle and wanted to come check out what was happening. I didn't see him until he came over to me and said hello and played around with Seth. Julie had never seen him before, so it's not like he's a regular. But it was neat to see him there. I have no idea if he is a Christian or not. Anyway, I had a great time and am looking forward to what God might have for me in the future to be involved in with Hungarians, since that is really where my heart is at. I love the Hungarian people! Just waiting to see how life changes and trying to be flexible with all of that...
Saturday morning we had a "Mom's Morning Out" sort of thing that they try to do once a month for the young moms. I was greatly encouraged by one of the pastor's wives who shared. She said that motherhood is a "ministry of interruptions." I think I am often filled with false guilt for not being involved in anything at this moment, and I was encouraged to hear her say that there is a season for everything and that there are different times in our lives for us to be involved at varying levels of ministry. I feel right now that I am taking a back seat, as I mentioned above, and that has been bothering me. Being a mother is a ministry! And although our mission is fully supportive of that, not all supporters understand that. It was great to talk and hear from other women and know that it's okay if things are slow now as life will soon change, and as life continues to change, I can adjust my ministry as need be.
Saturday night we went over to our neighbor's house for dessert and games. It's so fun to hang out with families. In Columbus we hung out with the Schmit family ALL the time. They were our family away from family. We used to have wonderful meals there and then play games for hours. Of course then we weren't tied to a kid's bedtime schedule, but Seth was so good and having such a fun time this past Saturday that we stayed way too late. :) Oops! Thanks Myers for a great night!
And on Sunday, Seth went to Sunday School for the first time. The nursery workers said that since he was almost two that we should try that. He was having a great time when I left. I knew it wouldn't last, but maybe this time... Shortly into the sermon I hear a kid wailing for "MOMMY!" Kevin and I looked at each other and both said, "Seth." So I left to go get him because they were bringing him to me (no fancy beepers or flashing numbers on a screen over here!). Several other moms got up, too, wondering if it was their kid, but nope, it was mine. Kevin took him back up to Sunday School and stayed with him. So it didn't go so well, and I didn't expect it to. But we'll keep trying.
One other great detail from this weekend is that we got a massive wardrobe to borrow from Pam and Oliver, who by the way gave birth to their twins two weeks ago. Pam and I were due the same day, so I am jealous that she is already done. Granted I knew she'd go before me with twins and everything, but I am counting down the days! Yesterday marked 37 weeks, so now that I am considered full term, baby girl can come whenever she wants with no complaining from me. :) Anyway, we haven't had anywhere to hang our clothes since moving in, so you can imagine what a mess our room has been. Still need to bring in the two smaller parts to the wardrobe that are sitting in our garage in hopes of being able to fit most of our folded clothes. Then the next step would be to try and organize baby's room. Probably not going to happen before she's born since we don't have any furniture for that room nor do we have money to buy any, but at least our room won't be a disaster, and babies don't know or care if their clothes are in boxes rather than neatly put away in a dresser or hung in a wardrobe. :) Wish they had closets over here!
Friday, October 16, 2009
how we love
Going through Crazy Love for a second time now. Still so many thought and challenges. Too many to share. Some too personal to share on a blog. :)
But I have been really challenged to think about how I love, how I demonstrate that love. Jesus told us the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-40:
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
So if that's the greatest commandment (and the second like it), then how to I love? My mom always challenges me to "love deeply." That's a really hard thing to do as an imperfect sinner and then loving other imperfect sinners.
Here is the challenge I have been mulling over in my head all week when I have been struggling to love:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13
Yes, it's the famous "love" chapter we all know. But the challenge that I got from Chan in his book is to take each phrase and substitute my name for the word "love." ("Kristen is patient, Kristen is kind...") And then do it for every phrase in the passage.
Wow. Convicting.
Chan says...
"By the end, don't you feel like a liar? If I am meant to represent what love is, then I often fail to love people well. Following Christ isn't something that can be done halfheartedly or on the side. It is not a label we can display when it is useful. It must be central to everything we do and are."
Loving God and loving people. I am grateful for God's infinite grace because I fail all the time!
But I have been really challenged to think about how I love, how I demonstrate that love. Jesus told us the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-40:
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
So if that's the greatest commandment (and the second like it), then how to I love? My mom always challenges me to "love deeply." That's a really hard thing to do as an imperfect sinner and then loving other imperfect sinners.
Here is the challenge I have been mulling over in my head all week when I have been struggling to love:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13
Yes, it's the famous "love" chapter we all know. But the challenge that I got from Chan in his book is to take each phrase and substitute my name for the word "love." ("Kristen is patient, Kristen is kind...") And then do it for every phrase in the passage.
Wow. Convicting.
Chan says...
"By the end, don't you feel like a liar? If I am meant to represent what love is, then I often fail to love people well. Following Christ isn't something that can be done halfheartedly or on the side. It is not a label we can display when it is useful. It must be central to everything we do and are."
Loving God and loving people. I am grateful for God's infinite grace because I fail all the time!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
throwing in the towel
Last week was just a horrible week altogether. This week, God has blessed me with more sleep and TONS more energy. I am praying that this is because baby girl is going to come early. You know how they say you get energy at the end before they come... Here's hoping to her coming early...which would be anytime after Sunday when I am officially full term at 37 weeks. Ready to be DONE!
I have been looking forward to today for a little while because today was supposed to be the day that we had the internet installed, or turned on, or whatever you call it. Internet guy came, was here for maybe 10 minutes, and said it was all clear to be used. Excitement! Our landlord came with the internet guy to translate since he didn't speak English and I certainly don't speak Hungarian. He told me all the important stuff that I needed to know that was in Hungarian on the paperwork we were given. Now I don't know how to do set up that sort of thing, although I could probably figure it out. But I thought I'd just let Kevin do it since he knows how.
We were taken out to eat tonight by Dave Hodges. Had a great dinner, and it was so nice to be treated. Seth was babysat for the first time since last spring. We don't have money to go out and to have to pay for a sitter on top of going out. :) But dinner was good, have leftovers for lunch, and a nice time all around.
Kevin got to work on finishing setting up the internet after dinner, and it didn't work. He tried every possible thing he could think of, and still not working. We got on the English speaking hotline with the internet company, and that guy couldn't figure out what was wrong. He transferred me to another guy who thought might be able to help, but after being on hold for 20 minutes, I just hung up. I wasn't about to waste whatever cell phone minutes I had left being on hold and not knowing if I would ever be connected. Plus, the English speaking hotline was going to close shortly.
We called our landlord and he is going to see if he can figure it out and help us. I am grateful for him (and his wife and daughter). They are very kind people.
But I am ready to throw in the towel with this whole internet thing (and a few other things as well if I'm going to be honest!). I have barely talked to my family or Kevin's since we came back at the beginning of August. And anyone who knows me knows how truly difficult that is for me. Ugh.
Tomorrow is a new day...
I have been looking forward to today for a little while because today was supposed to be the day that we had the internet installed, or turned on, or whatever you call it. Internet guy came, was here for maybe 10 minutes, and said it was all clear to be used. Excitement! Our landlord came with the internet guy to translate since he didn't speak English and I certainly don't speak Hungarian. He told me all the important stuff that I needed to know that was in Hungarian on the paperwork we were given. Now I don't know how to do set up that sort of thing, although I could probably figure it out. But I thought I'd just let Kevin do it since he knows how.
We were taken out to eat tonight by Dave Hodges. Had a great dinner, and it was so nice to be treated. Seth was babysat for the first time since last spring. We don't have money to go out and to have to pay for a sitter on top of going out. :) But dinner was good, have leftovers for lunch, and a nice time all around.
Kevin got to work on finishing setting up the internet after dinner, and it didn't work. He tried every possible thing he could think of, and still not working. We got on the English speaking hotline with the internet company, and that guy couldn't figure out what was wrong. He transferred me to another guy who thought might be able to help, but after being on hold for 20 minutes, I just hung up. I wasn't about to waste whatever cell phone minutes I had left being on hold and not knowing if I would ever be connected. Plus, the English speaking hotline was going to close shortly.
We called our landlord and he is going to see if he can figure it out and help us. I am grateful for him (and his wife and daughter). They are very kind people.
But I am ready to throw in the towel with this whole internet thing (and a few other things as well if I'm going to be honest!). I have barely talked to my family or Kevin's since we came back at the beginning of August. And anyone who knows me knows how truly difficult that is for me. Ugh.
Tomorrow is a new day...
Friday, October 9, 2009
a good ending to a rough week
I wrote the other day about feeling loved by the little things in life that God does for us. Can I just say that I have been overwhelmed the last two days, and today in particular, by so many of these little things?
I absolutely love living here in Hungary and feel called to be here right now. No doubt in my mind that this is where God wants us. For how long? Who knows. Until God shows us otherwise or until the money runs out, which I am confident that God would prepare us for the latter by showing us other plans. :)
But no matter how much I love living here, I do miss family and friends in the States. I miss lots of things. Although I don't miss teaching, I do miss the kids, the staff, and the parents. I loved working at Worthington Christian. Had many a conversations regarding why God had us move to Columbus for me to teach there when we could have gone anywhere. My friend Julia was one of the first to point out to me God's orchestrating our move there in anticipation of our move here. He is good and knows. Praise the Lord! Because I certainly don't.
There is no such thing as a perfect school. There were many days that I came home from school crying about one thing or another. The demands and expectations at a school with lots of wealthy people who pay tuition for their kids to go there got to be too much sometimes. And unfortunately, it was just a few that could ruin it for the bunch, because as a whole, that was not my impression of the school. Most of the parents of students I had were absolutely wonderful and encouraging, but like I said, it was one or two who could totally ruin my day in an instant. I guess they helped me build some character and a tougher shell. Ultimately, they were the ones who helped me realize that I cannot please man and should not strive to please man but God. I blew it many times.
But I have been reminiscing about this a lot today and yesterday because for some reason, several people from the school have been in contact with me. I'm not talking about the ones I usually talk to but the ones I haven't really talked to since I left. And they have been so kind and encouraging to me, coming out of the blue literally. I love Facebook! I'm not trying to brag or make myself look good, but I have been thanking God for giving me such loving encouragement. He knew I needed it. Totally unexpected and brought tears to my eyes. May he be given the glory for working in and through me!
And I have had a few women really reach out to me in the last few days as well. They aren't women I normally hang out with or talk with but on occassion, but I guess the Lord placed me on their hearts. It was really neat. That is another part of teaching that I miss...hanging out with older Christian women who train, encourage, and love. So it's been great to have a few this week take special interest in me.
Then the best surprise of all week was when I got a text message from Nusi saying she was coming through the area after having been away doing work for the last few days at a nearby town. She wanted to come spend the afternoon with me if I was home. I haven't seen her since before the summer, and it was such a splendid surprise. I should have taken a picture, but I was so excited to talk with her that I forgot. We're starting our 12th year of knowing each other. Crazy to think about. Wouldn't be living in Hungary if it weren't for God leading me here to live with her family in the summer of 1998. What a great way to experience God's love this week!
I absolutely love living here in Hungary and feel called to be here right now. No doubt in my mind that this is where God wants us. For how long? Who knows. Until God shows us otherwise or until the money runs out, which I am confident that God would prepare us for the latter by showing us other plans. :)
But no matter how much I love living here, I do miss family and friends in the States. I miss lots of things. Although I don't miss teaching, I do miss the kids, the staff, and the parents. I loved working at Worthington Christian. Had many a conversations regarding why God had us move to Columbus for me to teach there when we could have gone anywhere. My friend Julia was one of the first to point out to me God's orchestrating our move there in anticipation of our move here. He is good and knows. Praise the Lord! Because I certainly don't.
There is no such thing as a perfect school. There were many days that I came home from school crying about one thing or another. The demands and expectations at a school with lots of wealthy people who pay tuition for their kids to go there got to be too much sometimes. And unfortunately, it was just a few that could ruin it for the bunch, because as a whole, that was not my impression of the school. Most of the parents of students I had were absolutely wonderful and encouraging, but like I said, it was one or two who could totally ruin my day in an instant. I guess they helped me build some character and a tougher shell. Ultimately, they were the ones who helped me realize that I cannot please man and should not strive to please man but God. I blew it many times.
But I have been reminiscing about this a lot today and yesterday because for some reason, several people from the school have been in contact with me. I'm not talking about the ones I usually talk to but the ones I haven't really talked to since I left. And they have been so kind and encouraging to me, coming out of the blue literally. I love Facebook! I'm not trying to brag or make myself look good, but I have been thanking God for giving me such loving encouragement. He knew I needed it. Totally unexpected and brought tears to my eyes. May he be given the glory for working in and through me!
And I have had a few women really reach out to me in the last few days as well. They aren't women I normally hang out with or talk with but on occassion, but I guess the Lord placed me on their hearts. It was really neat. That is another part of teaching that I miss...hanging out with older Christian women who train, encourage, and love. So it's been great to have a few this week take special interest in me.
Then the best surprise of all week was when I got a text message from Nusi saying she was coming through the area after having been away doing work for the last few days at a nearby town. She wanted to come spend the afternoon with me if I was home. I haven't seen her since before the summer, and it was such a splendid surprise. I should have taken a picture, but I was so excited to talk with her that I forgot. We're starting our 12th year of knowing each other. Crazy to think about. Wouldn't be living in Hungary if it weren't for God leading me here to live with her family in the summer of 1998. What a great way to experience God's love this week!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
little things
Kevin said last week something along the lines of God working in the small things. Listening to a bunch of Jeremy Riddle's music now. So good. "How He Loves." I know that God loves us, and we can see it in lots of big things. I mean he sent his son to die on the cross for our sins so that we might not spend eternity apart from him!
And while being incredibly grateful for those huge things (and things I so desperately need!), I think it is through the small things that I feel that God demonstrates his true and crazy love for us. He works in ways that are so small and seemingly insignificant to others but not to us. Who else would know or care about the littlest details of my life? Seriously, a pot roast tomorrow? That means nothing to the person next to me, but today that meant the world to me (and even more tomorrow!).
Rewind back to 1998, my first time in Hungary. My family had written me a little card for each day I was here with words of encouragement. My mom and I crossed paths in the airport, she coming back from Hungary and me leaving on the same day for Hungary. Her words to me, "Kristen, be on a God hunt." I think about that all the time. And although far from perfect at always seeing God working or even looking for and trusting him to work, I am grateful for those words. I would miss so much if I weren't looking. I would miss a lot of the little things, the things where I feel so loved and cared for.
Now that I've been so focused on these words I am hearing in the song, I lost my train of thought and what I wanted to say. Pregnancy brain perhaps. :) But after talking about the small things, here's a pretty big thing to think about:
"SWEETLY BROKEN" by Jeremy Riddle
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior
Both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love and God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees
And I am lost for words
So lost in love
I’m sweetly broken
Wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love
And how great is Your faithfulness
And while being incredibly grateful for those huge things (and things I so desperately need!), I think it is through the small things that I feel that God demonstrates his true and crazy love for us. He works in ways that are so small and seemingly insignificant to others but not to us. Who else would know or care about the littlest details of my life? Seriously, a pot roast tomorrow? That means nothing to the person next to me, but today that meant the world to me (and even more tomorrow!).
Rewind back to 1998, my first time in Hungary. My family had written me a little card for each day I was here with words of encouragement. My mom and I crossed paths in the airport, she coming back from Hungary and me leaving on the same day for Hungary. Her words to me, "Kristen, be on a God hunt." I think about that all the time. And although far from perfect at always seeing God working or even looking for and trusting him to work, I am grateful for those words. I would miss so much if I weren't looking. I would miss a lot of the little things, the things where I feel so loved and cared for.
Now that I've been so focused on these words I am hearing in the song, I lost my train of thought and what I wanted to say. Pregnancy brain perhaps. :) But after talking about the small things, here's a pretty big thing to think about:
"SWEETLY BROKEN" by Jeremy Riddle
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior
Both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love and God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees
And I am lost for words
So lost in love
I’m sweetly broken
Wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love
And how great is Your faithfulness
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