to share or not to share

I blogged a total of 23 times in the year 2012. That's less than what I did in just one month during many of the months when we first moved here. Wow. I find myself being more private these days. Don't know if it's an age thing or desiring privacy in the internet world or feeling that some share too much, which makes me desire to do the exact opposite. Probably a combination!

I had gone out to breakfast recently with a couple of friends and we were discussing Facebook. I think it was decided by them that I am too cynical about not sharing things! (Kevin would agree!) And I think WAY too much about how what I share will be perceived and if it could possibly be misinterpreted or hurt someone unintentionally. I also worry about people thinking that I am posting something solely for attention. I know that I cannot be responsible for people's reactions or their feelings toward it, but it is these thoughts that run through my head that stop me from sharing things. And then my mom and I were talking and said that if no one ever shared anything that there would be no need or use of Facebook. So somehow I need to find some balance. I am just too cynical. And as my friends reminded me, people love to rejoice and share in good things with you, so it's okay to share.

So in that vein, I guess I will share here that we are expecting again! I had blogged last month that November was crazy, and that was in part due to the fact that I spent 4 weeks on either modified bed rest or complete bed rest. I did some research and figured out what was causing my complications that caused me to be put on bed rest, and once we fixed that, I no longer had problems and was taken off bed rest. Everything seems to be going well so far! I am around 18 weeks now and due in June. :)

I just heard this today, and it resonated with me and kind of describes my November:

"The thing that wounds us is often the thing that God will walk us through again to heal us...God uses community to heal us from bad community." Mary DeMuth

November was a hard month...but it was also a great time of healing for me as well. The Lord made himself so evident to me after lying on the couch day after day or up in bed, and he surrounded me by friends and "family" here who really stepped up and helped. Again, I feel like I am becoming more private and sharing less with others (except for my closest friends and family), and I had planned on not really telling anyone that we were expecting until I was too far along to hide it. Partly that was due to the fact of our miscarriage last April and trying to protect myself from the fear of the future and the loss of another baby. But when one is put on bed rest when your closest family is across the ocean on another continent, well, it makes it kind of hard to keep it a secret.

Some friends offered to arrange meals for us, and despite me wanting to say no because of the inconvenience it would cause others to bring us meals, Kevin responded with a "yes" before I could say anything. (After all he was going to have to be doing everything, so it would definitely help him!) My kids are older now and are able to do lots themselves, so that was good. Seth was especially helpful. And people took my kids several times for me as well. Such a huge blessing!

And I was on bed rest on Thanksgiving, which meant no cooking or cleaning for me. Several different people made double of their dishes and dropped them off for us, making sure we had a full Thanksgiving meal. My dear friends Audrey (and her now husband Eric!) and Laura Lee (new high school math teacher this year) spent the entire day over here preparing, cooking, cleaning, etc. too. I felt useless and bad for just being on the couch, but everyone assured me it was okay. We had a lovely time, despite it not being what I had planned, which is a challenge for someone like me. :)

Seth and Kate are super excited about a new baby. Seth wants a boy, and Kate wants a girl. We hadn't planned on telling them right away either because Seth had a hard time understanding everything when I had a miscarriage, and even months later, he was still asking questions. But due to the way things happened, they found out around 8 weeks. Their prayers for their new brother or sister were precious!

I feel blessed by the friends the Lord has given me. My friends really prayed for me and encouraged me, and the ones who really know me well knew what to say. :) Being a part of the body of Christ is an amazing thing!

Kate with Miss Laura Lee, our new and dear friend!

I still need to do a bunch of catch up here on the blog. December had lots of ups and downs, but the Lord is always faithful. I am continually learning (or relearning) that the Lord's ways are better than mine, despite when I think I know better. But I will post some pictures from Christmas, which happened over three different days thanks to packages getting stuck in customs. Oh the joys!