Friday, August 29, 2008

between us, we are barely breathing

That is another line from Kevin. He says some good ones. Why would he say that? It was in response to me being called "laid back" by just about everyone. Apparently we are barely surviving because we are too laid back.

Let me just say that I've learned a lot this year. There are many days where I just want to pack up and leave and other days where I think I could stay here forever. I think being laid back is key to me living here. It hasn't always been the strongest part of my personality. But if I'm not laid back here, I'll go crazy because, well, most things don't go as planned and almost nothing is in my control. Being uptight or trying to control everything will only make matters worse.

I get critiqued a lot on my parenting style. The people-pleasing part of my personality would apologize for that in the past, but I don't do that now. I know I'm young (people LOVE to tell me that I'm SO YOUNG and that I don't look old enough to have a kid...yada yada) but in my short life, I am continually learning that I am not going to please everyone and that I'll just go crazy trying to do that. Is it worth it?! No! But of course I think there is a healthy balance. You can go way too far the other way and be hurtful to others. Or maybe that is a different personality trait?

But back to my parenting style... No matter what I do I seem to bother someone by what I do. Seriously, you wouldn't believe it. I have to chuckle. The other part that's funny is that everyone tells me what they like or don't like about I/we do. Praise the Lord that Kevin and I both have parents and family members who have done nothing but encourage and support us! But I laugh because these other people feel they need to tell me or something.

Today, for instance, I had a mom come tell me that she heard that Kevin was carrying Seth around on his shoulders. I was trying to figure out what she meant, and so I just said that Seth loved it. She said, "Well, I guess dads have been doing it for hundreds of years and moms have been yelling at them for it." Little does she know that I have never yelled at Kevin for that. Little does she also know that Kevin has been doing that with Seth since April. Seth loves it and has never once come close to falling or whatever.

So as Kevin and I were talking about this tonight, I loved how he just said, "Between us, we are barely breathing." We're all doing fine here. Seth is thriving. Everytime he has a doctor's appointment, they are all amazed by what he can do. Kevin says we need to start taking credit for what things Seth can do, that we should start telling people that it's all due to our parenting style. Ha! I haven't done a thing to get him to be ahead of the game on anything. I don't have some secret or anything, unless that secret is being laid back. :)


Anonymous said...

The secret is that you know who is in control! This past year has caused you to depend on God probably more than ever before. He has given you a peace - "laid back" - which is what we all should have! Love Dad

Stefanie said...

You were a Type A personality before you left, but now I'm more of a Type A personality, thanks!

Someone yesterday told me I looked 16- so then I told them how Kevin got carded at the library, hahaha!

Brittany said...

Just wait. Just wait until you have more than one child, and still look as young as you do. I get all of the time, how young I look and how it's amazing that I have two kids and have been married for 7 years. It's insanity. Oh well. ;)

I am sure you're doing AWESOME!

Julie said...

Kristen, dear one....

I have totally enjoyed getting to know you this past few weeks. And from what I have observed you are great with Seth. I let everyone hold Jasper the same way and I am always wondering where he is because I get into a conversation (like at ovoda yesterday) and forgot he wasn't in the stroller and looked around for him in the midst of little kids and he was in the sand box... having a blast.

Your dad is right and you are letting God lead you over here which is all you can do...which is nice and nerve wrecking all at the same time!!!

And Zach turns 35 this year and people still think he is in high get used to it! You have a few more years of people telling you this. I don't get it as much anymore, and I think it is because having two makes me look a bit more tired...ha ha!

Have a great weekend!!!! You are a great mom... except you don't feed Seth enough, the poor kid is starving! ;)

Kelly said...

We can totally relate to the "helpful" parenting tips. Moving back near family has definitely allowed them to have more say in what we are doing, and while none of them are ever in-your-face critical, it has been interesting for Josh and me to accept their advice and then make our own decisions about it. Hang in there, and enjoy the looking young comments.

Susie said...

in India we always got told to put honey on sy's lips so we would talk, and got horrified stares for putting him in his own room - it is what it is!

I had my mom send yours another email so they should be in touch now!

Aimee said...

You guys are great parents - I have NO doubt about that! It's so clear to see that Seth is happy and well-adjusted, and that is certainly something that you both have helped bring out in him. And I completely agree with your dad's comment - you definitely understand that God is in control. You have found a good balance of trusting God and acting responsibly. KEEP IT UP!!! Hope we can be near you guys when we're first-time parents. Love you :)